


It's Hard to Believe, but I'm Having Fun

by blarfshnorgull



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Comedy, Drabble, F/M, Humor, author feels bad that all their edelvain is extremely angsty so here’s a goofy drabble as an apology, hand waved golden route, minor dimitri/felix and ingrid/claude
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:48:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26710960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blarfshnorgull/pseuds/blarfshnorgull
Summary: Sylvain isn’t stupid, he just makes some... impulsive decisions.Sometimes they work out.
Relationships: Sylvain Jose Gautier/Edelgard von Hresvelg
Kudos: 18





	It's Hard to Believe, but I'm Having Fun

**Author's Note:**

> So shoutout to [Ellisama](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellisama) for 100% giving me the idea for this. And shoutout to [Arihime](https://archiveofourown.org/users/arihime) for beta-ing the absurdity.
> 
> Enjoy?

Five years changed more than Sylvain anticipated. Crest abuse was officially condemned by Archbishop Rhea; foreign relations between the countries were at an all time high; Dimitri lost an eye; Ingrid somehow became the Queen of Almyra, and Felix _willingly_ talks about his feelings sometimes.

As far as class reunions go, it’s great. Sylvain is surrounded by his longtime friends, with more alcohol in him than is advisable, enjoying the atmosphere of the Millennium Festival.

And then the thought occurs to him.

“Am I the only one here that isn’t royalty?”

Felix quirks a brow. “I’m not royalty.”

Sylvain reaches across the table to pat his shoulder. “It’s cute that you think you and Dimitri are subtle.”

Felix and Dimitri turn identical shades of red, but neither protest. Ingrid just looks like she sucked on a lemon. “Do you have some plan I should be worried about?”

“What? No, I was just thinking maybe…”

Dimitri pinches the bridge of his nose, voice already defeated. “Sylvain, please don’t try to seduce foreign royalty to prove a point.”

“Are you saying I can’t do it?”

“Yes,” Felix chimes in, unhelpful as ever.

Before Sylvain can comprehend that he should be insulted, a shock of crimson passes by their table, followed by a looming shadow. It’s unmistakably Edelgard and her ever present sidekick.

His entire line of thought comes crashing to a halt now that the _Emperor_ is ten feet from their table, and then an idea hits him.

His expression must show it, because Dimitri follows Sylvain’s line of sight. His expression turns panicked when he sees Edelgard. 

“Sylvain, _please_.”

Sylvain ignores his king’s pleas and pushes himself up from the table. “Edelgard is a big girl; she can make her own choices. And even if she can’t, Hubert’s there!”

Ingrid lets out a sigh and reaches for her drink. “I’ll clean up your mess when she’s done with you.”

—

Sylvain wakes up when a hand smacks him in the face. He knows it’s not intentional. It lacks any of the deliberate force that most jilted women would put behind it, and Sylvain should know; he’s a bit of an expert in that area.

He cracks an eye open to an unfamiliar room half-lit by dawn. He reaches for the hand on his face, and gingerly moves it to a less dangerous location.

Following the arm, he sees a very much asleep and _very_ naked Edelgard next to him.

He revels in the warm flare of satisfaction at the sight. He can’t remember much of what led them here, but he’s more than happy to accept this absurd situation.

Sylvain turns to his side, ready to let the warm embrace of night well spent take him again. Except, when he turns, he notices a head of dark hair to his left. A head of dark hair connected to an equally naked third party.

The pieces fall into place quickly, and Sylvain realizes he’s sandwiched between Edelgard and _Hubert_ of all people.

_Huh._

**Author's Note:**

> Surprise! It was secretly Edel/Sylvain/Hubert!
> 
> I was originally going to do this for polyship week, but then I had _nine_ different ideas for a week long event lmao.
> 
> This was mostly written for three reasons: 1) I had polyship stuff planned for Dimitri and Claude already so I wanted one for Edel to balance it out, 2) Edelbert is my favorite Edel ship by a lot and I felt bad about how depressing my last edelvain fic was, 3) my friend accidentally enabled me with a galaxy brain idea.
> 
> Hilariously when I mentioned my idea based on her idea involved a threesome she immediately responded with “I am unsurprised” which _kills_ me. ilysm Emma thank you 😂
> 
> Lesson learned: I go feral for polyships and if y’all see me making a collection for my 3h polyship agenda bullshit, don’t be surprised.


End file.
